A Loooong time.

I am so sorry, blog world.  It has been too long. I've missed you.

However, today is not the day I'll be writing extensively for you.  I just wanted to leave a quick note to let you know that I'm still around, still plan on writing, and I'll be here with some birthday updates, pictures, and more fun later this week, possibly tomorrow!

And maybe this will help keep me on a better writing schedule:
http://www.livinglocurto.com/2010/03/free-printable-weekly-blog-calendar/

See ya soon!

Well, I'm admitting it.

I'm starting the infertility process. 

P and I have wanted another baby for so long... I cringe to think of the emotions we've been through. But now, I'm finally taking steps to make it happen.

I had my first doctor's appointment this week.  I'm now supposed to get bloodwork done and have an ultrasound, then we we will probably get P tested.  I'm a little afraid of all this- of what we'll find, of the financial toll it will take on our family, of the entire process. But I want another baby.

Sometimes we find ourselves asking if this is really what we want.  If we want another, if we don't want to just go ahead and pursue adoption.  And sometimes, our answer is that we're unsure.  But I think it's because we're afraid of what's ahead.

The funny thing is, I always knew I'd have trouble getting pregnant.  And yet the girl was so easy.  It was like, no more birth control, and BAM! I was with child.  I've been told it's because birth control can force ovulation- and at first glance, that appears to be the issue, that I'm not ovulating.  So we're going to see what we can do about that.  

So now, I'm looking for advice. I know some of you have been through this.  How do you keep the faith strong?  How do you keep from tiring of it?  I don't know how far we'll have to go... I know if it comes down to IVF, we will choose to adopt instead.  I don't know, though, if it will simply take some progesterone, or Clomid, or something more intensive...

All I know is that I'm not looking forward to it.

The Love Dare

I'm starting a new venture.

This is a wife blog, after all. And what does it mean to be a wife, if not striving to better your marriage?

I've {partially} done the Love Dare before.  That is to say, I've started it.  It's a wonderful, wonderful thing.

I'm not quite sure why I haven't finished it.  Probably because, like most things, I tend to forget what's important and don't make time for it. For reading it, studying the Word of it, implementing it.

Well, blog world, you're going to be my accountability partner.  I know that technically, since he reads this, I shouldn't be posting about it.  I should just do this and see how if affects our marriage.  But I want to write about it and share it with you lovely people.

So that's what I'm going to do.  From here on out, there will, at the very least, be a weekly post on how The Love Dare is affecting our lives and our marriage.  An insider's persepective!
If you are interested in following along, you can always search for The Love Dare, or click the button on the side of my blog to be taken to all posts appropriately tagged. 

And if you're just completely out of the loop and have never heard of this, well...
Essentially, it is a 40-day practice into learning about giving (and receiving!) unconditional love. 

Something I think we could all use a little help with.

Love is patient, love is kind.



It does not envy.


Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;


It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.


It keeps no record of wrongdoing.


It does not delight in evil,


But rejoices in the truth.


It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.


There is nothing love cannot face;


There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance.


In a word, there are three things that last forever:


Faith, hope, and love;


But the greatest of them all is love.


-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Confessions, or secrets?

P and I have share something pretty special.  That something is communication.  I mean, open, honest communication (usually, at least!)  And by this, I mean, if we are upset by something, if we have something to say, we say it.

So when I see things like this, it breaks my heart. 

Now, some of these are adorable.  And I hope, hope, hope that they share these things with their husbands:

"Sometimes I am struck dumb by the fact that I got a fantastic mother-in-law as well as the amazing son she raised."

"for the husband of my heart; my one and only fish, my Boyo, whom I live with now: I love you so much. You are my friend, lover and soul mate; I feel safe (and very hot!) with you. I know you'll always be there for me. (This sounds so cliched) You have healed so much in my life. I am forever grateful. "

And then there are... others.  Others that simply astound me.  I am appalled by the fact that these women , rather than speaking with their husbands about their feelings, chose to let the entire world know via an anonymous email about shortcomings in their marriage.  About their angers and fears.

This, this right here, is why so many marriages fail.  People say it's money.  People say it's growing apart.  But really, that's not it at all.  Because both of those things fail to be an issue if there is effort in communication.  When two people make a choice to be lovingly open with each other, to share what is on their heart and mind, and to not be judgemental when their partner does the same, the results are life-changing.

I know many of you know what I am talking about.  Maybe you're of the group that has wonderful communication.  Maybe you've been in the place of the women who can't talk to their partners, or whose partners won't talk to them.  But that can change.

You see, we're not always open.  We don't go to each other right away with everything.  Fear keeps us from it.  But we've started down that slippery slope before, and it's not a good one.  The thing with going downhill quickly is you can see what's approaching.  Terrifying, right?

Relationships have brakes, folks.  They have a 'reverse', a 'steering wheel' (like all my driving metaphors? hah!) and you can get yourselves out of that rut- but not without effort.  You may have to give it a little push.

P and I like to have what we call 'pow-wows'.  They don't happen as often as we'd like, because life gets quite busy and sometimes things heat up before we get a chance to schedule one in- but this is where we carve time to have a 'how are we, what's bothering us' discussion.  We both go into it completely calm, with the goal being to talk about anything we've felt the urge to but have not, for one reason or another.  We try to be completely open, nonjudgmental, and gentle with each other. 

Well, we should be this anytime we talk about potentially dangerous issues, right?

Wrong. Oh so wrong.

I mean, sure, maybe we should.  But that is just not a realistic expectation, especially for us.  Our personalities and expectations are just too drastically different.  But guess what?  We make a choice to love each other, and because of that choice, a bit more effort has to be made.  So we make that effort.

We plan, we talk, we argue, we plan for better ways to handle future arguments (hah!), and even if they don't work out perfectly, the effort put in by both parties is visible.

So why, I wonder, do marriages lose communication?  What does one go through when they (either actively or passively) make a decision to shield their partners from any particular thing?  How can it get better?



So many things...

**Update** All is well.  Blood count is normal, lungs still sound clear, etc. etc.  So at this point, it seems to be something that maybe played piggyback to the stuff from last week.  Thank goodness she's OK.

Well, yet again, I've failed to blog.  I'm sorry, folks. 

Believe me, it's not that I don't want to.  But this pesky little life keeps getting in the way of things.

Last week, my daughter got sick.  We thought it was Croup, so we did the steamy bathroom thing, lots of fluid and rest.  Well, by Thursday, the cough was very wet sounding, so we decided to take her to the doctor.  We get her in there, and while her lungs sound clear, it appears she has another ear infection of some sort.  The ear drum itself looked great, but there was some sort of pus in there that, I suppose, appeared painful.  So we got some ear drops and antibiotics and were on our way.

Again, that was Thursday.  Sunday afternoon, after 3 doses of antibiotics, her fever spiked.  She had not had a fever until then.  Yet all of a sudden, she was on fire.  Like, 103.3 on fire.  Me being a little paranoid (and a hypochondriac myself) took her immediately to the emergency room, since the doctor was off duty and I was not about to risk anything.  By the time we got to the ER, all of 10 minutes later, her fever had gone to 103.8.  I was a little scared.

I've come to the conclusion that I hate emergency rooms.  Granted, this one was better than others- they let us call the shots on what was done to our daughter, but... we got no answers other than the good news that no pneumonia was present and there was no UTI- but a 'we think it's viral' and 'give her tylenol and motrin to help the fever'. 

Now, my daughter's been sick for over a week.  She's still feeling miserable, it's getting worse even, and I'm freaking out a little.  They said perhaps it was fifth disease... which can take a while to clear, I suppose.  At any rate, her pediatrician is bringing her in this morning for a blood draw.

All this to say, I've been busy with a sick little girl.  And I'm sorry, blog world, but that takes precedence over any posting that may or may not occur.

Also, please pray everything turns out ok.

Laundry lists

Do you ever look around at your life on a given day and feel so overwhelmed, you're not quite sure where to start?

That's me today. I guess it's time to get out my post it notes.

This might be what my table looks like today.  It's that bad.

That's right. I waste paper.

But really, if not for post-its, I would go insane.  I get overwhelmed easily . And when I feel overwhelmed, instead of getting everything done as I should I end up not doing anything.  And what kind of wife does that make me?  

"Oh, sorry hubby, you worked all day, but I'm just so done with it all.  You can clean up if you want, though."

...Yeah, no.  So, I go around my house.  I make a list of what needs to be done, all on one sheet.  Then I put each individual task onto a post it. I can then go on to arrange by priority, and stack them up so I only see one item at a time.  When I get done with that item, no matter how small the task is, the satisfaction of ripping off that post-it and throwing it away is...

encouraging.

It's so much easier for me to be productive this way.  And I get to feel really good about my accomplishments.  

Plus my trash can looks pretty! All those COLORS!

What about you?  What are some techniques you use to make things simpler? 

Daily Dessert

Thinking of starting a new feature, based on this post.

It will feature a link-up, where we can all share what we did for ourselves that day.  Maybe it will encourage more of a balance!

What do you think?  Sound like a good idea?