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Let me start this post by saying that for the most part, I am genuinely, truly happy for my friends who are pregnant. Really. And that's all I want to be. Also, to those pregnant friends/family who read this, I apologize for what I am about to say.
WHAT IN THE HELL, Y'ALL.
Seriously? Did all 13 of you have to go get yourselves pregnant? Now? (and no, I only wish I was exaggerating on that number)
Again: I am genuinely happy- especially for those that had been trying and trying, that you finally get your little miracle. And I don't want it this to sound petty, or selfish, because I know I have the girl already and I know that's a blessing, but, um...
When's it my turn? P and I have been trying for a while now... and yeah, I must say, practice is fun... but not getting any second pink line EVERY MONTH? Notsofun. And please don't tell me "it will happen when it's supposed to" or "in God's time" or any of that... because at this point, honestly, all that does is make me angry beyond belief.
It's not that I won't want to snuggle and kiss and love on each and every one of those babies when they get here, but... my family isn't complete. Not yet. And it's hard, seeing a new pregnancy pop up about once a week.
Not to mention, those baby projects are starting to stack up on my sewing table...
and none of them for me.
Life is a flame that is always burning itself out, but it catches fire again every time a child is born. ~ George Bernard Shaw
3 comments:
In my defense, I was pregnant before we became friends! I do feel your pain - it sucks when it doesn't happen right away. Try getting drunk, I hear a lot of girls get knocked up that way ;)
I love you, sweetie! You will have you completed family someday...look at me! And it only took 7 years! :)
I can understand the feeling when I see engagement rings pop up on my friends' fingers often. It is a true battle to choose hope and choose contentment when those around are experiencing the blessings we want to experience. I remind myself to not let the life I would like to have interfere with the life I do have. When I choose to look at and be thankful for what I do have, instead of getting jealous and bitter for what I don't have, then it is a sign that I am acknowledging God is good, and what He gives is good. It's a trust thing, not just a "you'll get yours someday" thing. I pray that He will surprise you by letting you see The good things He's doing in your life right now, and that you will have peace and rest and grace for the process. I know it's difficult, it's really hard, but He will carry you through because He loves you!
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