Almost 2...

My baby girl is almost 2.  Which means..

I have been a mom for almost 2 years.  It's a hard journey, I'll tell you that.  I don't feel adequate in my job.  I don't ever, for one second, feel good enough to be her mom.  And then she does something like this:

and my world is rocked.  I realize something every. single. time. that I get a hug and/or kiss from her, or a random snuggle.  

I realize I must be doing something right.  

I don't know what I'm doing.  This girl is my first.  And, honestly, nearly two years into it, I still find myself being incredibly selfish sometimes.  Making decisions based on my wants or needs, rather than hers.  Doing something one way simply because it's easier, rather than taking the time to teach her a valuable lesson.  But I'm getting there.   It is, however, a true challenge to not lose myself in the process.

 Every hug I get reminds me that life has changed, and will continue to change.  I'm morphing into my role as a mother.  Every day, I improve, I learn to balance responsibilities, juggle schedules.  I discover things I didn't know about myself.  I find new confidence in my abilities.  

And I thank God for this blessing.  For not only creating this little life, but for creating in me a new person.  A new strength.  A new love.

23 months down, a lifetime more to go...

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh