They call it 'Toobing'

Fun trips don't always end up...

as fun as you may have hoped.

Take, for example, our... challenging trip to the river a few weeks ago.  What should have been a nice, relaxing, gentle float downstream turned into a nightmare.

Of course, that's my view on it.  Me, who feels like the world is falling apart if a fly looks at her wrong (part of why I'm in therapy- breathing techniques WORK, people!).

Let's take a quick look at what happened:

We were bringing the girl, so we wanted to find a float for her.  Aunt T and I spent the preceding evening searching all around town for one, only to be informed that because in other parts of the country, fall is fast approaching, TEXAS store are no longer carrying swimming accessories.  I mean, really?  We find one on the way down to the river... air it up. and she would much rather just hang out in our tubes with us.  Great way to spend $20, if you ask me.

There's a rather quick chute at the beginning of this float.  We knew we wouldn't take the girl on it, but Unca Roo and Aunt T wanted to do it, of course.  Well, sometimes, this chute can drag you of your tube and under the water.  Unca Roo almost drowned early in our trip due to this.  Fun!

The only way to get past this chute was to get out just before it, and back in IMMEDATELY after.  So after climbing out... with 2 tubes, 2 coolers, and a baby in tow... we climb down back into the water. P went first, and took the girl into his lap, seeing as we were literally climbing in at the very bottom of the chute (where there was still rushing water!)  He, the girl, and a tube containing a cooler got sucked into the current and rushed away... The girl LOVED it.  She laughed and laughed as they swirled across the top of the waves.  P held on to her for dear life.  We lost our shoes.

Yeah. You read that right.  You see, we had all our shoes in a mesh bag that was tied to P's tube- and when that current hit him, it ripped that bag right off the rope.  3 pairs of shoes (Aunt T had water shoes on, smart girl!!) gone. Just like that.  And let me tell you, the sidewalk on the way to the bus when the float was done was HOT!

After the chute we were in for what we thought would be a great day... hanging out with good friends, relaxing, getting some fun in the sun.  What we forgot about was that there was yet another rough current ahead... that if you went one way, you were fine... but chancing the waterfall meant danger.

Ok, ok, *I* forgot that.  To be fair, however, I couldn't have gotten to easy mode if I had tried.  It was just too late.  I went over the falls... along with the attached cooler.  Consequently, I was flipped off my raft and swept downstream- I couldn't even get my footing, the current was that strong.  I was scared!  And, wouldn't you know it, there were  some kind (cough cough) teenagers at the base of the waterfall that held onto the tube for me- kept it right there, at the base of the falls.

Remember how I said I couldn't get my footing?  Yeah, I never really did.  Eventually the kids let the tube go- but not before opening the cooler and taking the beer, letting the girl's juice, wipes, and Aunt T's glasses float to goodness knows where.

That was a *really* expensive trip, don't you think?

Almost 2...

My baby girl is almost 2.  Which means..

I have been a mom for almost 2 years.  It's a hard journey, I'll tell you that.  I don't feel adequate in my job.  I don't ever, for one second, feel good enough to be her mom.  And then she does something like this:

and my world is rocked.  I realize something every. single. time. that I get a hug and/or kiss from her, or a random snuggle.  

I realize I must be doing something right.  

I don't know what I'm doing.  This girl is my first.  And, honestly, nearly two years into it, I still find myself being incredibly selfish sometimes.  Making decisions based on my wants or needs, rather than hers.  Doing something one way simply because it's easier, rather than taking the time to teach her a valuable lesson.  But I'm getting there.   It is, however, a true challenge to not lose myself in the process.

 Every hug I get reminds me that life has changed, and will continue to change.  I'm morphing into my role as a mother.  Every day, I improve, I learn to balance responsibilities, juggle schedules.  I discover things I didn't know about myself.  I find new confidence in my abilities.  

And I thank God for this blessing.  For not only creating this little life, but for creating in me a new person.  A new strength.  A new love.

23 months down, a lifetime more to go...

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

There's a reason for the lack of posting...

Meet "Ms. Marvel".  Yes, like the Avengers superheroine.

Well, a few, actually.

P and I have bee a single-car family ever since we met.  I had a scooter at first, and then he had a motorcycle at one point, but we have never had more than 1 car.  And let's face it.  Scooters and motorcycles aren't very family friendly or compatible with bad weather.  We always knew we'd need a second car, and then after selling both 2-wheelers, it became necessity.

But you see, we want to be debt-free.  And P got laid off, leaving us with very little income for close to a year.  So what we DID make, went towards survival and a little debt removal.  There was no room to think about a new car anytime soon as our current one, while not perfect for our family, was still pretty reliable.

So when I got a text from my MIL asking if we wanted help in getting a retired government car, I thought about, oh, TWO SECONDS before saying yes, please?  And then when the opportunity arose to actually get TWO of those cars... well, we said 'see ya Friday!' and hopped on a plane.

All that to say, I've been traveling.

And also, I've mentioned i'm a student, right?  Yeah, well, I just finished up 9 hours of summer classes with a toddler in tow, so I'm sorry, blog friends, but I had to leave you in the dust for a few days.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.  At least until something else happens, right?

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.  ~Peter De Vries