More on selfishness

"The most difficult lie I have ever contended with is this: life is a story about me."
— Donald Miller (Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality)

I recently re-read this book.  It's one of my favorites.  In it, Miller writes about his realizations of what it is to be faithful (in his eyes) and Christ-like.  Now, I don't want this to turn into a blog about faith.  But, in my mind, being a good wife means being a Godly wife, so I take lots of life lessons from a spiritual aspect. 

I wrote about selfishness recently.  How as a wife and mom, you can't be selfish.  But seeing it put into these words was really a wake up call.

How many of us live life for ourselves?  Not intentionally, no, but we don't consider others' emotions or needs when making our decisions.  Despite having a being that is completely dependent on us- despite having a spouse who counts on us for any number of things, we tend to continue to live our lives in selfishness.

It doesn't even have to be in a large way.  I'll give you an example:
In our house, I take care of the grocery shopping.  I find the sales, I make the lists, I go out to all the different stores and get what we need.  But for so long, I wasn't even asking if there was anything P wanted.  Despite the fact that I know how much he loves tomatoes, I wouldn't buy them.  Because me?  I despise them.  He'll just salt one and eat it like an apple.

But why could I not buy them?  Why is it so difficult for me to get 1 small, inexpensive item that doesn't even take me out of my way (since I'm buying tons of produce anyway)?  There is no logical reasoning behind that.  I was being selfish, purely selfish. 

So I started buying them.  Not every time, of course, but I don't buy ANYTHING except milk every time.  But when he opens the door and sees those polished, juicy fruits (yes they're a fruit get it right!) staring him down, the happiness I witness is amazing.  It makes me wonder why I am not so giving all the time.

Why do you think that is?  Why are we naturally inclined to do things only for ourselves, rather than loving others as ourselves?  I'm always saying I want to be thought of... I should think of him, too, right?